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I initially wrote a post on why I've been absent from social media...I was ready to post it and had it all lined up, but in the last minute I canned it because I wasn't being 100% honest with you. At the time, I wasn't ready to share everything. I'm ready now...

I took a break from Instagram earlier this year as I was just over it. To me, it was toxic. It was wasting my time and I would often spend time looking at other accounts wishing I looked like them or wishing my work was like theirs. I wanted to be successful, and everything online was telling me that I need to hustle. I needed to work, work, work and then work some more. I would take on more work than I could handle because I thought that's what I had to do, I couldn't say no. So I wrote a whole blog post about that time I took off and you can read it here

After writing that post, I was ready to come back. I felt recharged and I had all these plans. I was going to blog my reflections throughout Ramadan and had products lined up for Eid (including some ridiculously cute wrapping paper that i'm still super bummed I didn't get to share with you all). I managed a few posts at the beginning of Ramadan...then I found out I was pregnant! What do you do when you finally get something that you have wanted and prayed and dreamed of for so long? I was beyond happy but I was also nervous and scared, I didn't want to share this news with anyone but at the same time I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. 

If you've been following me for some time you may have read a post on my Instagram (which I deleted because I didn't like the way it looked on my feed *eye roll*) on the topic of infertility after Aida from The Shawl Label and I did a podcast on this topic which you can listen to here

So there I was, pregnant, happy, nervous and scared. And then came the morning sickness (which i'll talk about in a future blogpost). I decided then, that I wanted to really experience and be present during this pregnancy. I wanted to feel everything. I wanted to notice every change. I wanted to enjoy every part of this journey. I wanted to live a slow life. A focused life.

But we were living in Sydney, 9kms out from the city and on a main road, we were in a little one bedroom apartment that we were paying way too much for and all you could hear, all day, was traffic. In the name of transparency, i'm going to tell you guys that I wasn't happy. I progressively became unhappier as time went on, we were isolated and about 40 minutes away from the closest Muslim community. I was pregnant and the first trimester was really hard, I missed my family. I missed my mum so much. I was so lonely. My morning sickness was so bad at one point that I couldn't even look at my phone without feeling nauseous. Working from home doesn't help with the isolation, the only people i'd come in contact with (aside from F) were the cashiers at the grocery store, the florist and the printers. 

It's been nearly two months since then, our move was so crazy. Once F got the job we made the decision to move a week later. He only had to give one weeks notice at work and we could break our lease without any notice, so why not move straight away, right? I have to tell you guys, that was the worst decision we made. F was obviously working that whole week, and there I was, pregnant and trying to pack our life up. But we did it, I really don't know how but we did, alhamdulilah, we made it. We're finally back in the beautiful sunshine state. Living in a small country town, up in the mountains, surrounded by nature and thoroughly enjoying living in suburbia. I can't tell you guys how beautiful it is here. It's the perfect place for me to practice the art of slow living and I am so much happier alhamdulilah. I recently came across this quote "if it costs you your peace it's too expensive" and it resonates with me so much. I believe in chasing your happiness and in doing everything in your power to change your circumstances.

Aside from being unhappy, we both knew that Sydney wasn't the place we wanted to bring up our children. We didn't want to have to continue living in a one bedroom apartment because of the overpriced property market in Sydney. We didn't want to be so far away from family and friends. So we decided we wanted to move back to Queensland. We both didn't know if this was actually going to happen as it largely depended on F finding a job but Allah is really the best of planners and so incredibly Merciful. F got a job, a great one at that and although it's not in the same city as our family, we're only 1.5 hours away...not 12. 

After all this, I wasn't sure where I wanted to take NAYMA. I became discouraged to continue with lettering as everyone is doing it these days. I didn't know if I even wanted to ever get back on Instagram. Then it hit me a couple of weeks ago. I am so passionate about women's health, I am so passionate about pregnancy and birth, about living an Islamic and natural lifestyle and about raising children. I have been passionate about these topics for years but have never felt comfortable to talk about them as, well, I wasn't pregnant nor did I have children. As this has changed, I want to talk about these things. I want to share with you all what I've learnt and my experiences with pregnancy, birth and parenting. 

With this change of direction comes a rebrand, a new logo, a new focus here at NAYMA. I am so excited to share all of this with you all, I know these topics may not resonate with everyone and I totally understand if you decide you don't want to be part of this journey with me. In saying that, I still love design and lettering and will be continuing to create prints and will also be taking on client work least until baby comes after which i'll be slowing down even more to be completely present as a mother hehe. So if you have something you'd like to work with me on I highly suggest you get in contact soon! 

I'm really looking forward to experiencing, learning and exploring this new journey that I'm on and sharing it all with you and I'm hoping it will bring us closer together as women and sisters in Islam inshAllah. 

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